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Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well perserved body, but rather skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming!
 
It's not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility.
 
Everyone thinks that I like to sleep. It's not that I like to sleep, it's that I don't like to get up. There's a difference.
 
Punk is not a style, it is a state of mind.
 
Be Sexy. Be True. Be Wild. Be You.
 
Everyone is entitled to their share of stupidity. Some people, however, abuse the privilege.
 
My opinions my have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
 
A smart person knows all the rules, so she can break them wisely.
 
Never judge a book by it's movie.
 
Ok, you're so smart, what's the speed of darkness?
 
Things are always darkest before they go pitch black.
 
I believe in dragons, good men, and other fairy tale creatures.
 
Don't let someone live rent free in your head.
 
My mind not only wonders, sometimes it completely leaves.
 
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk by again?
 
Don't call me a Goddess, don't call me a Queen, just call me the cutest Princess that you've ever seen.
 
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, then I realized that suicide is a crime.
 
My beauty is skin deep, but my attitude is to the bone.
 
I'll try anything once, twice if I like it.
 
Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think about them.
 
Remember my name, remember my face, cuz there ain't no honey that can take my place.
 
I know that milk does the body good, but damn boy, how much did you drink?
 
Whoever said that money was the root of all evil, never had any.
 
You talk it, I live it, You're jealous, Admit it.
 
One by one the penguins are taking away my sanity.
 
I went from candy and toys, to cell phones and boys.
 
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
 
Did you wash your pants in windex, cause I can really see myself in them?
 
Imagine your life without me, miserable, huh?
 
Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.
 
Oh, I had this dream that I was still in love with you, yeah I woke up screaming.
 
I'm sugar and spice and everything nice, before you mess with me you best think twice.
 
I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving.
 
I ran into my ex the other day...then I put it in reverse and hit him again.
 
There are easier things in life then finding a good guy...like nailing jello to a tree.
 
I'm not a bad girl. I am simply a good girl who does bad things.
 
Never send a man to do a woman's job.  -Charlie's Angels
 
Carton of Eggs....................................$4.00
Ski Mask..........................................$15.00
Tickets to a Britney Spears Concert...............$54.00
Egging the crap out of America's Pop Princess.....Priceless
 
I used to have an open mind, but it fell out.
 
Do not start with me, you will not win.
 
Do not treat me any different then you would the Queen.
 
Next mood swing: 6 minutes
 
Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed
 
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it
 
You are just jealous that the voices only talk to me.
 
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
 
Better to get up late and be wide awake, then to get up early and be asleep all day.
 
Coffee, chocolate, men; some things are just better rich.
 
Of all the animals, the male is the most unmanagable. -Plato
 
I love him, Oh, yes I do. He's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face.
 
I'm a bitch and I've got class, mess with me and I'll kick your ass.
 
I like your style, I like your class, but most of all, I like your ass.
 
God made rivers, God made dirt, God made boys so I could flirt.
 
Born to tease. Taught to please.
 
I'm loved by some. Hated by many. Envied by most. Wanted by plenty.
 
I'm blonde, what's your excuse?
 
Mirrors don't talk and luck for you, they don't laugh.
 
It's not PMS, I just hate you.
 
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are there to keep the halo straight.
 
The fellow who thinks he knows it all is annoying to those of us who do.
 
I'll get back to thinking about doing something about that later, maybe, if I have to, I guess.
 
I have learned that when someone makes you mad, that it takes 43 muscles to frown and only 4 muscles to reach back and slap them.
 
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
 
Some people say that I am a horrible person. But that's not true, I have the heart of a young girl...in a jar on my desk.
 
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
 
So many men, so few who can afford me.
 
All stressed out and no one to choke.
 
How can I miss you if you won't go away.
 
Don't upset me, I am running out of places to hide the bodies.
 
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
 
I can go from Zero to Bitch in 2.5 seconds.
 
I'll be as weird as I like, it's my life.
 
It's as bad as you think and they are after you.
 
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
 
I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect.

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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt